Wednesday, June 20, 2012
Absolute madness has been going on in my life, folks. Sheer and absolute madness. The good kind, though. The kind that fills you up with a frantic frenetic energy that makes waking up at 5am totally worth it. I started working for Nasty Gal. They actually contacted ME and asked me to interview, so now I have a pretty sweet gig with probably the raddest company known to girlkind.
I'm also going to be featured on their blog pretty soon. Be on the look out for that, please, and when you notice how clean and pretty my house looks, be aware that I had a mini breakdown the night before while I was frantically cleaning the kitchen. (Somehow breakdowns always happen in the kitchen, don't they?)
I was wiping the counters and putting the dishes away when I just became overwhelmed by the possibility that things were NOT going to look the way I had wanted them to and I would be so disappointed and mad at myself for not doing all the things I wanted to do earlier-- I was freaking the fuck out.
I started crying a little at first, then I thought, 'Fuck it. Nobody else is in the kitchen. I'm all alone right now, so, I'm going to cry as much as I want to!' and I just let it out. Hard.
While I was crying, I felt extremely angry, and secretly, I wanted my boyfriend to walk into the kitchen and notice and be concerned and feel bad and guilty (though he was already helping out as much as he could!). But then, all of a sudden, I noticed I wasn't crying anymore, I was just doing what I needed to do, that episode passed so smoothly that I hardly noticed that I had stopped. My mood was calm and peaceful. The kind police officer of my mind had come and made way for the little ducklings and everything was totally happy and fine again. Everything was doable and manageable, and even if it was not perfect, who cares. I, magically, didn't anymore. It was weird, guys. But also awesome. Honor whatever feelings you're having, and eventually they will pass. Then you go back to your normal, happy medium. Hopefully, happy is your medium.
Anyways, this look was shot by my dear and amazing friend Timony Siobhan. Check out her Tumblr, too!