Wednesday, May 9, 2012

How to Choose

I find it very difficult to make decisions. When I'm given a menu, I scan the entire thing front to back, read all the descriptions, ask the other people in my party what they're ordering, read about those and compare it with what I think I might order. Then, when the waiter comes, I usually ask them what they recommend; if what they recommend isn't one of the 2 items I had in mind, then I ask them which of the 2 dishes I was vacillating between they like better. Then, I internally debate between the 3, and finally, after everyone's already finished their drinks and is ready for their second cocktail, I order. Okay, maybe it doesn't take me that long but I guarantee you that I am the last person to get their order taken.

I think this is an indication of a fear of commitment. I don't ever want to make a bad decision. I'm afraid of regret. This terrible trait renders me practically incapable of action sometimes, and that's bad. I think making choices are one of the most difficult things about growing up. How do you choose which career path to follow if you have many varied interests? How do you choose who to, gulp, marry!? Or when to have kids? I think the last two questions are the biggest choices in life and ones not to take lightly. However, I realize now, that picking a career or which school to go to or which field to study is not really all that important.

People change careers 5 to 7 times in their life. So, if you have an opportunity to try something you've always wanted to do, do it. Don't let fear hold you back. If you feel like quitting your current job to try your hand at something that truly speaks to you, it's better now than later, or never. If you don't know what to do, what career to choose, who you want to be, and how you want to spend your time, here is a question to ask yourself that might help to put things into perspective for you.

1. What are you most envious of?
Envy is considered a negative emotion but I think it can be a very valuable motivational tool. If you get envious every time you to go the theatre (to quote Megan Draper) then that's something inside of you telling you that you should quit advertising and give acting another shot.

The biggest piece of advice about how to choose? Choose to be grateful. Always.

And lucky for me, I'm only friends with people who don't mind sharing their food. ;)


  1. You would hate my life - because it seems like I have to make a decision of some sort every few minutes. Book buying, yes, but also I had to deal with some serious stuff as well. And ...well its difficult. Enjoyed your piece!

  2. Aw, I'm grateful that you exist, Ms. Nickery!

  3. i've always thought my biggest fear was regret - love your thoughts here :)

  4. I think we're on the same wavelength with blogging frustration.